Just Another Betrayal
by Shaz1
Summary: At the end of Pushback Callen reflects on the loss of the closest thing to a family he had, and the betrayal of a colleague that nearly costed him his life. Meanwhile the team try to once more help him back from the brink.


**Just Another Betrayal**

By Shaz1

None of the recognised characters belong to me they belong to the wonderful people of CBS and I will return them shortly!

This takes place immediately after 'Pushback' so there are spoilers for that and obviously also 'Legend'.

**Just Another Betrayal**

Callen sat on the edge of the bed his feet planted flat on the floor, his fingers rubbing the engraving on the cupboard door. He smiled to himself as he remembered the day he had carved his name on the edge of the door 26 years ago, a sign that he had considered this big old house his home. The only sign that he had ever been there- ever been even a small part of the Rostoff family. He closed his eyes as the few happy childhood memories he possessed flooded through his mind, the small child that had idolised him and her parents that had treated him as one of their own. He blinked against the moisture he felt building as the emotions overwhelmed him. That beautiful girl was dead because of him. There was no other way of looking at it- she had come to try to save him and he had pushed her away, pushed her straight to her own death. He clenched his fist as anger coursed through him; guilt was not an emotion he was familiar with and its grip on his heart was killing him. Silently he got to his feet and headed out to stay wherever he could find for that night.

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA

Sam ran as if his life depended on it, his heart pounding in his chest as his feet slapped against the sidewalk. His mind was waging war with itself, he couldn't believe what had happened over the last few days. He was glad that they had solved the case of Callen's shooting, for at least that risk to his partner had been removed, but the circumstances behind it were yet another blow to the already closed off senior agent. The man gave his trust so rarely, hell it had taken Sam himself over a year of being his partner before the other man had begun to allow him in, and even now after three years the lead agent rarely let his shutters down. Sam was worried; Callen really hadn't needed another knock to his fragile psyche. He cursed under his breath as he double backed on his run, suddenly needing to call his partner.

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA

Callen lay down on the guest house bed, exhausted but unable to sleep. He was well accustomed to not sleeping; he rarely managed more than three hours a night before he gave up and started fixing things or practicing his languages. He would never have pegged Ethan as a traitor- he hadn't known him that well, yet it still caused an uncomfortable knot in his stomach to think of the other man's callous actions. He sighed deeply, before rolling out of the bed and slipping on his shorts and a sweat top. Clipping his sig to his belt, the recent attempt on his life too close for him to leave without it, snatching his room key he wandered out and took a long run in the moonlight to clear his troubled mind.

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA

Sam practically growled in frustration as yet again his partner's phone went straight to voicemail, he had already tried the boarding house he knew he had been staying in- unsurprised to find that yet again he had packed up and left after less than a couple of weeks. He had run out of places to try, and he didn't want to hit the panic button when chances were high that his partner was safe, but just staying under the radar as he processed recent events. Knowing that didn't make Sam feel any better.

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA

The next morning Sam felt exhausted, he had hardly slept a wink as the concern he felt for his friend whirled through his mind. He clasped his morning coffee as if his life depended on it as he walked into the office, throwing his bag under his desk and collapsing into his office chair, he looked up in surprise to see his partner sat at his own desk, already typing away on the laptop in front of him.

"You sleep here last night G?" he questioned softly, unused to seeing his partner there so early.

"No, why?" Callen responded without looking away from his computer screen.

"Its 8am man, you're never here this early unless there's a big case running" he replied, sitting up straighter and gauging his partner's appearance.

"Just wanted to make a start on my report" Callen replied, finally sitting away from the computer as he got to his feet and headed to the coffee pit, pouring himself a large, steaming drink before heading back to his desk.

"You good?" Sam asked softly, needing to check before the rest of the team arrived.

"Yeah sure, why wouldn't I be?" Callen replied as if he had no recollection of what had occurred over the last few days.

"Morning guys" Kensi greeted as she walked in the door, unaware that she had interrupted the partners. "You ok Callen?" she asked, checking on the lead agent. Callen sighed dramatically.

"What is this obsession with if I am ok all of a sudden? I am fine!" he stated, dragging his chair back nosily and getting to his feet- heading out of the room, without a backward glance.

"That boy is far from fine" Sam muttered to himself as much as to the other agent. Unbeknown to any of them Hetty observed from the landing, her face serious as she watched her favourite agent clearly struggling with the latest episode in his complicated existence. She couldn't help but agree with Sam's muttered sentiments, her concern for her friend growing, and for once being at a loss as to how to help him. Mind made up she headed to her office and picked up the phone.

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA

Round after round impacted with the target, clip after clip changed as the target was left as little more than a rag of paper.

"You have definitely killed it" a voice spoke low over his shoulder. Callen looked down, his eyes locked on the weapon in his hand. "You want to talk?" Nate offered quietly, concerned for the seasoned field agent.

"Not really" Callen replied, pressing the control to bring the target back to him, silently he reached up and unclipped it, and tossed it towards the bin behind him.

"It's not your fault she died Callen" Nate stated, not missing the sharp intake of breath from the agent at his words, a sure sign that he had struck a nerve.

"Leave me alone Nate" Callen requested, unable to disguise the tremble to his voice. "Please" he added. Nate clasped his shoulder gently, before doing as the other man had asked.

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA

"Go home Mr Callen" Hetty instructed, her tone firm, but her face soft as she took in the obviously exhausted man in front of her.

"I'm fine Hetty" he replied as he continued writing his report, not bothering to mention that he still didn't have a home to go to.

"I would say you are far from fine, but you will be" Hetty responded, handing the agent a cup of steaming tea. Callen sighed as he wordlessly took the tea from her. "You cannot foresee the future Mr Callen, any more than you can change the past. There was no way you could have known that she was there to warn you" she told him, sipping at her tea and gauging his reaction to her words, desperate to not push him away inadvertently. Callen absorbed her words, understanding what she was trying to tell him.

"I ignored her Hetty" he stated, his voice soft. "She was the closest thing to a sister I ever had" he told her- revealing more about himself than he usually managed. "I ignored her and that got her killed" he finished, his eyes involuntarily filling with moisture.

"She loved you Mr Callen, she chose to come to warn you and when she believed you dead she wanted to help find those that had killed you. You cannot question the decisions others make" she told him, he sat in silence, taking in her words. He was still surprised to discover that young Alina Rostoff had given her life for him, he had never had a family of his own, and he couldn't understand the decisions that were made around a family unit. He could not grasp the fact that the young child he had known and adored had grown into a strong beautiful woman that had cared enough about the boy that had lived with them so long ago that she had actually tried to save his life.

"Thanks Hetty" he whispered before getting to his feet and walking away, suddenly needing to be alone.

"Do you think you got through to him?" Sam asked the ops manager as he watched his partner walk away.

"As much as anyone ever gets through to Mr Callen" Hetty replied softly. "Good night Mr Hanna" she finished, before heading back to her office, getting her handbag from the hook and heading out to one of her many homes. Sam sighed as she left, mind made up he grabbed his cell phone from his desk and headed out, intent on finding his partner.

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA

Sam found his partner surprisingly easily, sat on the beach with his arms resting on his drawn up knees, looking out across the ocean. He approached the younger man quietly, not wanting to drag him from his reverie.

"I know you're there Sam" the smaller man stated, his tone carrying the faintest hint of amusement. Sam smiled to himself at the flash of the partner that he knew and loved, before he joined his friend cross legged on the sand beside him.

"You good G?" Sam asked softly, knowing not to push his partner too far.

"I'm ok Sam" Callen replied after a slight hesitation. "Sorry Sam, didn't mean to bug out on ya" he finished quietly.

"Hey man, it doesn't happen often- well not to this extreme anyway " Sam replied with a smile, Callen snorted slightly in response, glad of the lift in the tension. "You doing ok about the whole Ethan thing?" Sam asked carefully, and watched as his partner pondered the answer before speaking it.

"I'm ok" he finally stated. Sam looked at him doubtfully. "Really Sam, I'm fine about it. Ethan wasn't a friend, he was another agent that went bad for his own pocket. It isn't the first time that I have been betrayed by someone that was supposed to be a colleague and I doubt it will be the last" he stated, his tone matter of fact. "Sure I'm pissed about the whole getting shot five times and nearly dying in my partner's arms, but it was nothing personal" Callen stated, his voice steady as he spoke- showing that he was speaking the truth completely, whether Sam understood or not, it was how he felt. Sam nodded, grateful for the tiny look over the wall that Callen had spent years building around himself, although slightly disturbed by the way that his friend could just shrug off a betrayal from a friend that had nearly cost him his life. He shuddered at the memory Callen referred to, convinced that he would never forget the absolute horror of his partner's blood soaking through his jeans as he knelt with the smaller man cradled in his arms. He shook his head to direct himself back to the present.

"Man G you are lucky you got me as your partner" he eventually stated with a grin, his eyes on the water in front of him, but feeling his partner's penetrating gaze locked on him.

"And why is that?" Callen questioned, unable to resist rising to the bait.

"Because I will never betray you G, you need someone to watch your back so it may as well be me" he finished, his mouth turned up in a slight smile, and his eyes locked on to his partner's to convey the truth behind his words. Callen nodded wordlessly, knowing his partner spoke the truth and proud to know that he had Sam's trust. "That's enough of this mushy stuff. You fancy a steak?" Sam suggested lightly.

"You buying?" Callen asked with a smile.

"I'm buying" Sam confirmed offering his hand to his partner before hoisting him to his feet.

"Then suddenly I'm starved" Callen replied with a smile that lit up his blue eyes. Sam chuckled as he clapped his friend on the back and the two partners walked along the beach, the healing having begun.

The End

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